How I’m Feeling Now

Greetings! Happy 2021.

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted. I thought I would talk about personal life stuff tonight.

(Note: this post is going to discuss the recent domestic terror attacks in Washington, DC under the cut. If you are not prepared to read a discussion of that, I recommend you click away.)

As some might know, we’re headed into a Presidential inauguration next week. The election was one of the reasons why there was a domestic terror attack on the US Capitol on January 6th. It’s an understatement to say plenty of people are a bit nervous – some of the attendees came armed and likely intended to harm our elected officials.

I live just outside of DC – my apartment is less than 10 minutes from downtown by car, Southwest DC is just across the river a few blocks away, and the US Capitol building is visible from my building. The attacks last week were the only time I’ve felt unsafe in the few years I’ve been here. While out getting groceries last week, I saw a guy riding his bike in my neighborhood with a “Reject Faulty Electors” sign strapped to the back of it. Others I’ve spoken to have seen similar sights, and there were even reports of physical assaults in my neck of the woods. Within minutes of curfew being announced, a cop car was parked outside my building. No other demonstrations that have occurred ever had spillover effects like that.

Couple that with rumors that have been flowing through this area – there are confirmed demonstrations occurring at the US Capitol again tomorrow as well as at State capitals across the country – my office suggests there will be demonstrations in state. Not only that, but there are also rumors of a planned attack on DC infrastructure (whether that’s transit infrastructure or things like pipelines, cables, etc. is unclear). As you may know, Airbnb has been cancelling reservations in Washington DC ahead of this weekend’s events. DC’s transit authority has also closed all light rail stations near the Capitol building, and plans to keep them closed through the 21st. My workplace has advised us all to anticipate road closures, sudden curfews, and potentially even cellular outages, and recommended that we cancel any and all appointments that would take us away from home between the 12th and the 25th.

Even my apartment building is urging us to stay alert:

email address and phone number redacted for this screenshot

It’s a lot to take in right now. I’ve told it to friends this way: since the election, I’m so used to hearing ambulance sirens that I stopped registering them as not normal for a time. Pretty much all of the DC demonstrations since November have ended with people getting hurt. It’s… really horrifying to think about. When I realized I had gotten used to that sound, I started to spiral into a dark place. Besides what I’ve shared here, I don’t have the words to describe it all.

I’m doing my best to hang in there. I’ve been in contact with friends and family, and they know where I am mentally. I’m also putting time into self-care – I’m trying to exercise and work on personal projects everyday. I appreciate any concern readers may have. I’m a little nervous about what will happen over the next few days, but beyond that I’m okay. I encourage you all to keep your loved ones close and stay in touch with those most important to you in the days ahead, especially those in the US.

That’s all for now. I greatly appreciate your time.

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